Hard is Hard: You Can’t Write Your Purpose in a Day

From Man’s Search for Meaning to Find Your Why, there is no shortage of books, audiobooks, or podcasts that promise to help you find your vision, purpose, values, or mission. I’ve read many of them. Some hit home. Some didn’t. But the truth is, none of them can hand it to you.

When I meet someone who fits the profile of the quietly burdened midlife millionaire, I often see myself in them. They’ve built the life they were told to build. They’ve checked the boxes. They’ve done well. Yet something in their eyes says, “Is this really it?”

I try to tell stories they can relate to. I try to help them see that they’re not alone. And most of the time, it clicks. You can see the spark of recognition. The nod. The quiet “Yeah, that’s me.”

Early on, I’d jump right in. I’d start helping, mapping, planning. I’d want to fix it. But over time I learned that most people aren’t ready for help. Not because they don’t want to grow, but because they haven’t yet decided to put in the work to help themselves.

Hard things are hard. And figuring out your next chapter is one of them.

You don’t train for a marathon in a day. You don’t change your life in a day. You don’t write your mission, values, or purpose in a day either. It takes time. It takes reflection. It takes struggle.

Time is an element, and what matters most is how you use it. If you organize your time around progress instead of perfection, you’ll move forward. If you try to rush it, you’ll burn out. If you wait for the perfect moment, process or coach, you will never get started. Finding meaning requires searching. It’s literally called Man’s Search for Meaning for a reason.

When I talk with people about this work, I no longer start with vision statements or frameworks. I start with one question: How do you process and make sense of life?

Are you a reader? A journaler? A runner or a walker? Do you think best in silence or through conversation? How do you take what you’re learning and make it real? Because until you know how you process experience, it’s hard to build anything on top of it.

There has to be some kind of reflective rhythm. Some way to slow down and hear yourself think. Without that, all the books and podcasts in the world won’t matter.

And beyond that, you have to ask another question: Are you coachable? Are you willing to listen, to be challenged, to let others speak truth into your life? Not the people who claim to have it all figured out, but the ones who are just a few steps ahead on the same path. Those are the voices that help you grow.

Without at least some of that openness, you’re not ready to start. Or maybe you’ll start, but you won’t stick with it.

The first step in this kind of work isn’t writing your purpose statement. It’s creating space to notice what’s already true about you. That’s where the searching begins.

So if you’re feeling restless or stuck, take the pressure off. Don’t try to define your purpose in one sitting. Start by defining how you’ll search for it.

Read. Walk. Write. Reflect.
Whatever helps you see yourself more clearly.

Hard is hard. But the good news is that hard things, done over time, change everything.

Not all at once. But little by little, until one day you look up and realize you’re living with purpose, not just chasing it.

Feeling the quiet pull toward something more?
That’s where the real work begins, and where conversation helps.
Schedule a call with me if you’re ready to start exploring what comes next.